What the heart wants, the heart gets

“Insanity, when the heart wakes up in the night wanting. This heart doesn’t want to be alone anymore and soon… soon it will get its wish”

It’s been 4 months and 20 days and me and Kei are still together. People told me that if we didn’t see each other for 3 months, we wouldn’t make it. We are still here, making it. I could talk about what a crazy year it has been and what I have experienced, what I’ve been through, but nothing can prepare me for the weeks ahead, the 3 most important weeks of my life.

What the heart wants, the heart gets. Insane isn’t it? The things we never knew about this life just a year ago, a month ago, a week ago or even a second ago. Then again, life isn’t about knowing is it? It is all about the experience and the constant questions to which we really have no answer. What is love for example? No one knows, we all might have theories, but the most important thing in most people’s life is love, and we still haven’t got a clue.

Well, I am about to find out a few more things about myself and life. I will probably not update this blog for a while as I am not taking my laptop with me. When I am there, I want to do other things than I do here at home. So I see you all when I get back, right?

Donating your soul

I started watching this new show called Heartland. It is a doctor show that's about organ donations and the drama behind it all. Quite interesting. They haven't gotten to the religious things yet, but I know there are certain religions that won't allow donations of any kind, for example blood (I saw that in another doctor show once). I wouldn't mind my body used for science or organ donations in the future. It also got me thinking about things like my heart. Some think that love comes from the heart, but I think it is more than that. It is the soul. For me donating the heart wouldn't be like donating the soul. Not even the mind would accomplish that feat. What do you guys think about all this? Would you donate your organs in the future? Is there any part you wouldn't give away?

I guess today, everybody has the environment in mind. I am trying to watch the live earth concerts, but the streams won't let me. Well I don't need a couple of concerts to remind me that the environment needs taking care of. The earth is a gift for us, and we need to take care of it any way we can. I saw the movie An Inconvenient Truth and it was quite shocking. I hope every one of you see that movie and start to think about what to do for the environment. It needs your help.

I'm happy that football season is slowly starting up. Watched my first match today, it was just a training match, but still... It's back!

Next week I will hopefully start to exercise myself. I need a physical assessment from the physio which will hopefully happen on Wednesday and then I can start training in the gym. The physical assessment is just for protecting their arses. Everyone is afraid to get sued these days. I heard that one guy got rejected because he has high blood pressure, which is ironic because he certainly could use the gym more than others. Well we'll see how it goes. I have it from a very good source that my family has very low blood pressure.

I saw Spider-Man 3 finally, and it was great! By far the best in the Spider-Man series. I liked the two first ones, but this was just amazing stuff. I also saw Die Hard 4, and it didn’t disappoint. Easily on par with the first one, maybe even better. Enjoyed it from start to finish. Also saw Pathfinder, which has been slaughtered by both critics and people who saw it. I have to say that it wasn’t as bad as people say it is. It wasn’t great, but it was enjoyable. It wasn’t as good as the Norwegian movie Veiviseren which was the movie it was based on. I remember I saw that one in the cinema back in 1987. The Reaping was a good movie, which had a few surprises up its sleeve. Premonition was not bad, but what I liked the most about it was the soundtrack by Klaus Badelt, so I guess that says it all.

What if we all ended up in the same place?

Wouldn’t it be cool? Well there are strange things happening in Manchester. I moved in on Sunday and there was this Brazilian guy here called Fernando. We just said hi a couple of times, but yesterday we got to talk for the first time. He told me: “Hmm, you look familiar”. “Well we both work at Shell” I replied. “Have you been in Dublin, Ireland before?” He asked. “Sure have, I worked for a company called ClientLogic”. Then he laughed and yelled “Me too!” At that point I almost fell down, I swear. And it gets better. It turns out he lived in Carlton Court, the same as me! We both end up in the same little house in some unknown road in Manchester, come on! What are the odds?

My heart suffered a blow today. I wrote something in yesterday’s blog that feels natural for me, but it made Kei worried. In Ireland I lived with two girls, and yesterday I was thinking about moving in with this Norwegian girl and a French guy. It didn’t even occur to me that it is unheard of in Indonesia. Kei got worried, and then I got worried. She said it was ok, but I had to call her. I cried a little and we laughed a bit. If losing her feels just a little bit worse than I felt at the moment that I realized I could lose her, then it is indescribable pain. She told me it was ok, but I can’t make her worried. It pains me too much. This girl is so special to me and I just can’t risk losing her for any reason. So I am going to find a place on my own here in Manchester, and it will be a bit more expensive, but I don’t care. It’s for love, and it’s worth doing. I love you Kei, and I didn’t mean to scare you. As you will learn to know, I am a faithful guy. It’s just hard with a LDR, but we will make it. There’s nothing like having a near death experience, to truly appreciate what you have.